


Metamorphosis

by quantumducky



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (more of an engineer but that's not an existing tag so), Android Morality | Patton Sanders, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dubious Science, Hurt/Comfort, Logic | Logan Sanders is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Pining, Scientist Logic | Logan Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 23:07:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18214904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quantumducky/pseuds/quantumducky
Summary: Logan is tired of being human, with all these things like "needing to sleep at some point" and "having feelings" distracting him from his work.  He creates a robotic assistant, Patton, to aid him in becoming a robot himself, but of course things don't quite go according to plan.





	Metamorphosis

Logan smiled.  This was a rare event, as the few people who knew him would attest, but he believed the occasion was worth it: the completion of his most impressive invention so far.  It marked a considerable step towards his ultimate goal, his life’s work… but now wasn’t the time to get caught up in future plans; there was still work to be done in the present.  He stepped forward and pulled a lever on a nearby control panel to activate the machine.

Some gears whirred, and some lights blinked, and with very little fanfare, the android lying on the table in front of him sat up and looked around.  Logan waited patiently while its eyes scanned the room, taking in as much information as possible, before finally landing on him.

“Hello,” it said, “my name is Patton.  Do you have any instructions for me?”

Logan already knew the android’s name, being the one who named it and all.  On the other hand, he also programmed it with that greeting, so he had no one to blame for this redundancy but himself.  “Hello, Patton,” he responded.  “I am Logan, your creator.  You will be my assistant, and as such you will perform various tasks for me within this workshop.  More specific instructions will be provided as they become necessary.”

The android, or rather Patton, nodded to confirm understanding.  “Is there anything else I should know?”

“Yes.  You were created to be similar to a human, including human methods of learning information.  When you have questions upon encountering new things, ask me and I will answer them as far as my own knowledge allows.  That said, do you have any questions right now?”

“Yes… should I ask them?  Oh- wait, I just did.”  Patton smiled, evidently very easily amused.  Logan supposed that could happen when one had literally never heard a joke before.

“Go ahead.”  When Patton looked confused, Logan clarified: “A phrase meaning ‘proceed.’  Ask your questions, Patton.”

Patton visibly stored that knowledge away for later.  “Okay.  Why did you make me like a human instead of making me know everything you know and have octopus arms?”

“Because I already have a robot like that.”  He gestured to a corner of the room, where a group of eight metal tentacles was flailing, each holding a knife.  “It didn’t end well.  I also wanted to prove it was possible to make you nearly indistinguishable from a real person.”

“Oh.  I see.”  Patton filed that information away as well- in a mental folder labeled _Things to Never Go Near,_ in the case of the octo-bot.

“Any more questions?”

“Yes, can you explain birds to me?  I have some information in my memory but I don’t really _get_ it.”

Logan sighed.  This was going to be a very long day.

A few hours later, Patton finally ran out of things to ask about and Logan was able to begin a tour of the workshop.  Of course, this spawned even more questions: _what does this bit do? why can’t I touch it? what would happen if I did stick my hand in it, though?_   It was like dealing with a child, although fortunately, this particular child was made of metal and nearly indestructible, and actually listened when told not to do things.  Still, with so many interruptions, it was night by the time the tour was finished.  Logan put Patton in “sleep” mode and then went to bed himself in the apartment above the workshop.  Hopefully, the endless inane questions were just a first-day-of-activation thing and he’d be able to actually get something done tomorrow.

 

* * *

 

The next day, Logan returned to the workshop and, rather optimistically, instructed Patton to help him right after waking the android up.  For a short while, everything went smoothly.  Patton was quite competent as an assistant, which didn’t surprise Logan, but did allow him to feel pleased with his creation.  But then the questions started again.

“Why are you wearing different clothes today?”

“Because the ones I wore yesterday are dirty now.”

“Why don’t _I_ wear clothes?”

“You’re a robot, you don’t need them.”

“Can I have them anyway, just for fun?”

“...Maybe later.”  At first Logan had wished he’d given Patton more knowledge to start with, just to save himself some trouble, but now he suspected it wouldn’t have saved him regardless.  And Patton really did seem to be struggling with the concept of birds, for some reason.

“Is this a pigeon?”

“No, Patton, that is a butterfly.  Stop bringing living things into the workshop to ask me if they’re birds or not.”

Patton wilted a little and put it back outside.

Not everything he wanted to know was so trivial, however, and before long Patton asked him what exactly it was they were doing.  Logan had anticipated this, but struggled to explain his project in a way that didn’t… sound bad.

“Well, you see, I find it inconvenient to deal with biological needs and emotional fluctuations, so I’m going to transfer my mind into a mechanical body like yours in order to avoid those things and have more time for my work.”

“Oh.  Okay.”

…There were definitely benefits, Logan decided, to having a recently created android with no concept of what humans would consider weird and creepy as his assistant.

“Why don’t you want emotions, though?  I haven’t had them very long, but they don’t seem that bad.”  That was a slight understatement: so far, Patton had only experienced about two.  He knew that _happy_ was how he felt when Logan praised his work, telling him he’d done a good job; on the other hand, when his creator grew impatient with his questions earlier and told Patton to leave him alone and let him work for a while, what he felt was _sad._   And while he didn’t like sadness, and anger didn’t seem very fun either from what he’d seen of Logan yelling at a malfunctioning piece of equipment, he did _very_ much like being happy, and that was how he’d felt nearly all the time so far.

Logan sighed and looked away from him, focusing on the part in his hands.  “I don’t expect you to truly understand.  The emotions you experience aren’t _real,_ merely simulated reactions.  As realistic as you may appear, the fact remains that you are not a real person, and so I doubt you’ll ever have any idea how truly _distracting_ they can be.”

“Oh,” Patton said distantly.  He turned back to his own work.  He was having a new feeling, and he didn’t know what it was or why it was happening- Logan had only stated facts they were both aware of, after all- but he knew it wasn’t one he liked.

 

* * *

 

Whatever had happened there, it was quickly pushed to the back of Patton’s mind and he and Logan got back into the rhythm of working together.  He liked working with Logan, and focused on that, not thinking about anything else until the end of the day.  Before Logan left the workshop, instructing Patton to clean up before shutting himself off for the night, he told him he’d done well today, and listed the things Patton had done he’d especially approved of.  He’d done the same thing last night, and Patton knew that his purpose was to help him improve by knowing which actions he should try to repeat.  Still, it made him very happy, at least until he recalled Logan’s earlier words.

He wasn’t really a person, at least according to Logan- and he knew the right answer for almost everything, and always admitted when he wasn’t sure, so it had to be true, didn’t it?  Well, if Patton really was just simulating his emotions, he’d like to turn off the ones that felt like this.  Somehow, it was one thing to know he wasn’t human, just designed to seem like one, and another thing altogether for Logan to say it to him like that.

When Logan entered the workshop the next day and brought him out of sleep mode, Patton experienced a new type of happiness, as if everything from the previous day had been forgotten.

This wasn’t unusual, to be fair.  He had only existed for a few days.  Almost every experience he had was new, and soon pushed aside by the next one.  But this one felt special, somehow; it was warm and bubbly and made him feel slightly ill- not that he was capable of being ill, but he knew what it would feel like, in theory.  As soon as he was finished cataloguing it he went up to Logan, excited to tell him about his new feeling.

Logan frowned at his description.  “That isn’t one of the emotional responses I programmed you with, and there’s no reason to have any emotional reaction at all to merely waking up.  It was most likely some sort of glitch.  If you continue experiencing feelings with no apparent cause, let me know and I’ll see what I can do to fix it.”

Patton nodded slowly.  He knew it wasn’t his fault, yet that still felt like… not an insult, exactly, but… Logan seemed disappointed with him.  “Okay, I will.  What do you need me to do today?”

It was Patton’s first ever lie, only a few days into existing.  He wondered if he’d set some kind of record.

 

* * *

 

Logan didn’t know what was happening, and he didn’t like it.  Patton had been acting… off.  It was as if his approximation of emotion had gotten stuck somewhere around sadness, but he insisted there was nothing that needed fixing and became defensive when Logan pressed him about it.  On the other hand, he’d also been even more helpful than before- sometimes anticipating what Logan might need before he even asked- so maybe it wasn’t anything to worry about, and would resolve itself in time without negatively impacting his main function.

Logan wondered, for a moment, if mentally referring to the android as “he” was a sign of getting too attached.  He quickly dismissed the concern, however.  It simply felt strange to refer to Patton as an object when he looked and acted almost entirely human.  It didn’t mean he was actually thinking of him as something other than what he was, or anything like-

There was an enormous crash from downstairs, and a scream.  Logan scrambled out of bed and ran down to the workshop.  “Patton!”

 

* * *

 

Ten minutes ago, Patton had been almost finished tidying up the workshop for the night.  He hadn’t mentioned the new feeling again in the few days since it had first appeared, but that didn’t mean it had gone away- in fact, it had only been getting stronger.  It returned every time he interacted with Logan, and… and it was starting to hurt.  Especially when he was reminded that he wasn’t a person to him; he certainly wouldn’t appreciate it if Patton announced that he’d done a bit of research and was fairly sure he’d fallen in love with him.  It almost wouldn’t change anything when Logan went through with his plan to get rid of his emotions, the chance of him ever returning Patton’s feelings was already so minuscule.

Still, though, he couldn’t bear to let Logan “fix” him.  Even if it hurt, it felt too important to just get rid of.  He _wanted_ to love Logan.  And as much as he knew it was hopeless, he couldn’t help trying to get at least some kind of positive reaction from him.  That was why he’d been working so hard to be helpful- and it was also why, looking around the workshop, he decided to surprise Logan and get a head start on tomorrow’s work.

…Well, Logan was definitely surprised.

Patton wasn’t in any shape to be cheered up by a technicality, though.  In the process of working on a tricky mechanical part, he’d become lost in his thoughts and slipped up, resulting in both the part and his left arm being crushed.  The shirt Logan had found for him earlier was ruined.  Patton didn’t have the ability to feel pain, thank goodness, but he certainly had the ability to panic.  When Logan got there, he was cradling the twisted metal where his hand used to be and emitting a soft whine as his mind overloaded with another new emotion- fear.

“Patton!  Patton, what happened?”  Logan took him by the shoulders and had him sit down against a wall, lest he damage himself any further.  “Please calm yourself, and tell me what just happened.”

“I- I was just trying to help,” Patton managed after a few seconds.  “I broke it, I’m sorry, I just wanted to- make you happy…”  He covered his face with his remaining hand, shoulders shaking in an approximation of crying despite not being equipped to actually produce tears.

“You broke…?”  Logan looked over at the destroyed part in question and sighed.  “We can remake it.  Just don’t do that again.”

Patton nodded quietly.

“Come with me and I’ll see about fixing your arm.”

Logan didn’t get much sleep that night.  It took him hours to repair Patton, as he essentially had to replace the entire arm.  The android watched him work anxiously, his right hand clinging to Logan’s shirt and face half-hidden in his shoulder, and Logan found himself pausing occasionally to reassure him.  He didn’t even think twice about it when Patton indicated he wanted a hug before going into sleep mode… or at least not until he was finally back in bed, and found he was unable to go to sleep himself.

He felt bad, somehow.  Patton had only been trying to do something nice for him- the first time anyone had done so in a long time, really- and it had ended in what he could only imagine was a very distressing experience, even if the distress was simulated.  Maybe… maybe he should be more considerate of how he talked to Patton.  He shouldn’t feel like he needed to go to such lengths to get Logan’s approval.  He didn’t ever want to see him panicked like that again.

Wait.  What was he _doing?_   Why was he thinking of Patton like… well, he couldn’t even call it _like a friend._   Logan didn’t exactly _have_ friends.  The “mad scientist” vibe tended to scare people off.  In any case, he seemed to be getting… sentimental.  This was exactly why he didn’t want emotions anymore.  (Part of the reason, at least.)  It led him to do the most irrational things.

It was good that his project would be ready soon, even with the setback of Patton’s accident.  Until then, he would simply do his best to deal with it, and detach himself from any emotion-based impulses.

 

* * *

 

Logan was not doing a very good job of dealing with it, although sleep deprivation may have been a factor.  In the interest of keeping his schedule as intact as possible, he woke up at the usual time, despite having spent most of the night awake.  He stumbled downstairs only to be greeted by Patton, who had a smile and a cup of coffee for him, and immediately faltered in his resolve to be detached.

In fact, he failed completely.  “Thanks,” he mumbled, taking a long sip despite the fact that it burned his mouth.  “You’re sweet.”  Ten seconds passed before he realized what he’d said, at which point he nearly dropped the mug.

Yeah, he really needed to hurry up with that “getting rid of his emotions” thing.  Preferably before he had to look Patton in the face again.

 

* * *

 

Over the next two weeks, Logan failed miserably at not getting too attached.  He continued pushing the feelings aside, telling himself it wouldn’t matter soon and absolutely refusing to consider what it meant that he couldn’t look at Patton anymore without getting the urge to smile.  Patton had been unusually clumsy and kept dropping and misplacing various things ever since Logan replaced his arm- he’d yet to find the cause, but he must have made some sort of mistake while rebuilding it- but even with those setbacks, they made steady progress.

When the day finally arrived, Logan wondered why he didn’t feel as satisfied as he had upon completing Patton.  No matter.  Soon he wouldn’t need to worry about feeling anything at all.

The final preparations went by in a blur.  Logan knew he’d double checked everything, but somehow couldn’t remember any of it, and now he was strapped into a machine next to a robotic copy of himself and could only hope everything was in order.  He looked over at Patton, standing by ready to activate the machine, and realized with a start that he looked miserable.  In fact, Logan wasn’t sure he’d seen him truly happy in the past week.  He leaned forward to get a better look at him and ask what was wrong, but Patton misinterpreted the movement as a nod that he was ready and flipped a switch.  Logan’s vision went dark.

Once his task was done, Patton stood in front of Logan’s new body and waited.  He waited for nearly twenty minutes before anything visibly happened.  The mechanical form shifted, like a human slowly waking from sleep, and finally opened its eyes.

He stepped closer.  “Logan?  Can you hear me?”

Logan blinked a few times and focused on him.  “…Patton?”

Patton gave him a small smile, although his chest ached.  “How do you feel?”

“Everything seems to be in order.  I…”  He took a small step forward and stopped, looking down at his hands.  His body felt new and strange, and yet his mind…  “Why do I still feel the same?”

Patton’s eyes widened, and he jumped forward to catch him when Logan tried a bigger step without thinking and nearly fell.  “What do you mean?”  He tried not to sound too hopeful, but he wasn’t very good at hiding his feelings yet.

“I, I feel- I _feel,_ Patton, that’s the problem!” Logan practically shouted.  He pulled away from Patton’s grip and fell to his knees, hands curling into fists.  “It didn’t _work!_   That’s what I mean, I- I spent my entire _life_ working towards this and I _failed_ and I don’t, I can’t-”  He curled in on himself, shaking, and Patton’s heart broke for him.

He knelt in front of him and wrapped his arms around Logan’s shoulders.  There were a lot of metallic clanking noises involved.  “There, there.  You’ll be okay.  You’re strong, I know you are, and I’m here to help you.”

Logan instinctively latched onto Patton’s shirt, suddenly very glad he’d agreed to get proper clothes for him.  This was so strange- not only because he was an android being hugged by another android, but… nobody had comforted him like this since he was a child.  It was weird and he didn’t want it to stop, and he didn’t understand how Patton could be such an amazing person when he wasn’t supposed to even _be_ a person, and suddenly not all his feelings were bad because his heart felt like it was going to burst-

Oh.  Oh, _no._

“Patton,” he said in a shaky voice.  “Patton, I- I _love_ you.”

Patton froze for a moment, then hugged him even harder, pressing his forehead against Logan’s shoulder.  He was shaking a little.  “You do?  Really?”

“Yes, I think so, I can’t believe it took me this long- I can’t believe I had to _become a robot_ to figure it out, but- I do, Patton, I can’t believe I tried to give this _up-_ you’d think such a genius wouldn’t be such an _idiot,_ but here I am…”

“So… you don’t want to get rid of your emotions anymore?” Patton asked hopefully.

He shook his head.  “No, no, of course not, what a stupid idea that was-”  He laughed somewhat bitterly.  “Years of my life, and now I realize I shouldn’t have been trying…”

“Oh _good,”_ he sighed.  “Then you won’t be mad that I sabotaged it.”

“…You _what?!”_

Patton held up a crucial piece of the machine and laughed nervously.

Logan’s face went through an impressive variety of expressions, considering its mechanical limitations- from shock to anger to, finally, something softer.  “Thank you,” he finally said.  “Thank you… I love you.”

Patton grinned, feeling like he could float away on a cloud of joy.  Only about a month into existence and he’d already achieved the seemingly impossible.  That _had_ to be some kind of record.

“I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> ...i'm starting to be concerned by my apparent inability to write about patton without hurting him in some way


End file.
